Sylvester Graham was ordained as a Presbyterian minister in 1826. The Reverend Graham was not your run of the mill minister. He waged a lifelong crusade against alcohol, lust, and white bread.

His disdain of alcohol was inspired by the temperance movement. white breadWhile he accepted the premise that alcohol had useful medicinal qualities, he felt that social drinking was a social danger that could lead to other social activities — namely lust. An unhealthy diet (Graham was also a vegetarian) led to wanton carnal desire, which led to poor health, which led to disease (with a capital D that rhymes with P which stands for you know what).

As one might guess, Graham was ridiculed by the media and the public at large. He might have been written off as just another crackpot zealot and soon forgotten had it not been for his campaign against white bread. White bread was a bit of a status symbol at the time. Its paleness and the fact that it was purchased rather than homemade separated sophisticates from those bumpkins who made their own dark bread.

Graham thought the use of chemical additives such as alum and chlorine somehow made white bread less than wholesome. Nutritionists tended to agree with him. The whiter the bread, the sooner you’re dead, became their battle cry. Graham went on to create a healthier, flour, a healthier bread and — you’ve been waiting for this — the graham cracker.

Sylvester Graham died on September 11, 1851. He probably would not have approved of s’mores.

How To Make S’mores

You’ll need: Wood, matches, graham crackers, chocolate squares (smaller than the graham cracker and fairly thin), marshmallows, a s'morepointy stick.

1. Start a campfire.

2. Break a graham cracker along it’s perforation to create two perfect squares.

3. Place a chocolate square on one of the graham cracker squares.

4. Place a marshmallow on the pointy stick and hold it over the fire until it is a nice golden brown (unless you like your marshmallows almost black).

5. Carefully slip the marshmallow off the pointy stick and onto the chocolate graham cracker stack.

6. Place the other graham cracker on top of the marshmallow and press down until the marshmallow just starts to ooze out. This may require some practice.

7. Cleanse your palette with the alcoholic beverage of your choice.

8. Eat the S’more.

9. Cleanse your palette again.

Inspirational Quote for 9/11/16

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3 thoughts on “September 11, 1851: Curb Your Carnal Enthusiasm

  1. Poor billiards, ever since that damned Robert Preston started singing….

    The S’mores recipe is incomplete. You gotta add a few candied orange peels before you press it all together, dip the whole thing in caramel sauce, and alternate bites with sips of bourbon. Trust me, I know what I’m doing.

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